loogies are one of my favorite things.  So you would be delighted to know that if the X-men exsisted in real life that i could become a memeber on the count that i can produce a unnatural amount of phlegm and boogers.  Add to that the fact that i drink stouts everyday thAt my loogies are extremely puke inducing but regardless i like to share them with everyone.

my old time friend from third grade had a bit of extra phlegm one even will drinking in the local pub.  a sort little nothing of a kid reconized him and said “you go to MY gym.”  My friend responded by saying “you mean you go to my gym”  and he walk away.  it was on.  third grade friend retrieved his brother and had him distract the little pipsqueek wi9th dumb conversation as third grade friend hoocked loogy after drippy green loogy on this dumb-asses black shirt.  Side note,  this homo was with his skinny whore girlfriend that hooked up with everybody in the world in one day one time over, but skinny girl was taller and bigger than him.  talking “u go to my gym shit.”  idiot.  Well by the end of the night this dudes back was covered with slugs and snials from the innereds of my friend.  the whole area around the bar watched as loogies got worked up every 15 minutes or so and found there way on to this hobbit.  4 hours worth of these things and nobody told him because they wanted more,  they wanted snot.

a steel beach picnic

the lamb burger.  if you haven’t already tried one do so.  The meat is suberb and the adding of spicies to complemiant the burger can really set off a meal.  There are many kinds of burgers that can be made.  Ground beef can be more than just ground beef,  it has loads of potential.

i piss in public all the time.  I’ve done this both out of nessisaty and for humor.  I like to piss on door knobs and in gas tanks.  I like to get piss drunk (no pun intended) and piss on people’s cars.  I’ll piss on a dog if its behind a fence and its barking its ass off at me.  I’ll piss on someones shoes if there in the stall taking a shit.  

This brings me to boot camp when we had asslicks in are division.  everytime when we hit the showers we would wait for the people that sucked to wash there hair and when there eyes would close we would turn are dicks towards them and let lose are urine.  There would usually be at leasts three wieners involved and salty solution would find its way onto the feet, ass, back, even get as high as the shoulders, hands, cock and balls.   We timed it perfectly,  by the time the shampoo was rinse from there head they had no idea that they just took a golden shower.  Pissing on a mans back is one the funniest things you could ever do.  But it makes me feel accomplished knowing that i have pissed on a mans ass and his penis (many, many, times)  Theres a feeling of dominance over those fool.  And yes those clowns deserved it.  haha

A buddy of my since the third grade is a force to be reckoned with.  We have never behaved in a civilized manner when were together.  We started by making fake love letters and slipping them in peoples lockers.  They were always gruesome things to read.  those are stories for another time,  lets stay on the topic of piss.  I don’t think that we ever pissed in a toilet.  When we are in a restroom we’ll start off like were going to use the urinal properly.  when the coasts is clear the piss will wind up on the floor or pinch the dick and head over to the stalls and piss on the seat.  i also love pissing on the toilet paper rendering it useless as it drips piss onto the tiled floor.

Many times over we piss in the local pubs bathroom forgoing the urinals and pissing in the handsoap.  Other times we take the newspaper clippings and carefully place them on the floor and take to pissing on them making a eruo trash art piece.  One time i was in a pub and i pissed in the garbage can every time i went to the head.  I noticed it was filling up quickly and was suprised.  I told my long time friend about this phenomon and he informed me that he too had been pissing in the garbage can.  It was delightful how we didn’t even need to communicate with each other and we still got the job done.  Incredible to see this garbage can with the bag in it filled with piss knowing that somebody had to clean it up.  hehe!

I know some of you are thinking “why doesn’t he smear shit all over things,  that would be funny”.  we’ll guessn what?  i have.  thats for another time.  some more piss stories in the future as well